


Numbers of Life

by FairyNiamh



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mpreg, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1510103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles remembers the milestones in his life with number.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Numbers of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Drivven for being my wonderful Beta.
> 
> Written for 1_million_words Numbers Challenge and the kidfic square on my Trope Bingo Card.

~Zero~

"There is zero chance that this will work. No matter how I crunch the numbers they won't add up to anything above that number. In fact if I do it correctly, I'm sure we'll hit negative numbers."

Growling could be heard from the driver. "I didn't ask for statistics or chances. I asked you to do it."

"Yeah, and since I said it wouldn't work, it means there is no way in hell I am risking my neck just so you can go and get your accursed dolmas."

"You only have to walk in and pick up our order! There is nothing dangerous to it."

Stiles sighed and settled in while he rubbed his baby bump. "If I smell it, Junior here will not be happy and I will get sick all over the owner... again. Remember last time? He said if I did it again we are banned for life. _We_ are banned Derek. That mean no more dolmas for you and I don't get my gyros. If I do not get my gyros there will be bloodshed."

"Fine! I'll go pick up the damned order."

"Put it in the trunk. I wasn't lying about getting sick if I smell them," Stiles yelled to his mate as the man ran to get the food.

"He's a pushover sweetheart. Pappa: 1 - Daddy: 0." Stiles chuckled when his belly wobbled. As if the child growing inside of him was laughing with him.

~One~

It was supposed to be a one-time thing. Just... let them touch his belly once, get it out of their system and life would return to normal. (Or as normal as it could for a pregnant man.)

Instead it seemed to create an open invitation to touch him whenever they needed (i.e. wanted) to feel reassured of Stiles' and/or the babe's well-being.

Stiles supposed it could be seen as sweet. Yeah, no. It was fucking annoying as hell. Never mind that they had to hide from everyone _not_ in the pack. He had to endure Deaton and his torture treatments.

His pup bouncing on his bladder had caused him to piss himself more than once. The pack blocking his path to the bathroom caused the problem even more.

As the end of his third trimester approached, Stiles finally snapped. "If any of you touch me again, I swear by everything I love; I will make you pay."

As Derek ushered the pack out of the house, Stiles secretly plotted to make the pack a nice batch of brownies for all their efforts. Complete with hash, promethazine, and ex-lax. Teach those damned pups not to fuck with a pregnant man.

~Two~

It all started at 2am. No, to be fair; it probably started much earlier in the day. Stiles had felt a stitch on his right side off and on since yesterday morning when he woke up.

The pup had been restless for the past week, so the small twinges of pain were often ignored. Moreover, he had eaten beans for breakfast. An evil creation that the pup seemed to crave... which of course lead to the inevitable.

"Beans, beans, good for the heart. The more you eat the more you..."

"Sorry Stiles, not this time. Looks like the little one is ready to come out. Where is Derek?" Deaton asked as he hurried over to the phone.

"I left him passed out on the floor. Oh god... Pup, your daddy is a wuss and made me drive myself!" Stiles yelled as another contraction hit him.

"Breathe deep breaths. Amos is on his way here. Do you want me to see if I can get a hold of your dad and pack?" Deaton asked kindly as he rubbed the young man's back.

After a minute, Stiles breathing returned to normal. "Yes, please and if you would have one of the pack drag my mate here I would be eternally grateful."

"I'll do just that. I'm off to call, so if you need anything just yell."

"I predict a lot of yelling in the near future doc. Good luck calming the pack," Stiles panted as he leaned back on the table.

"Just hang in there." were the last words Stiles heard from the good doctor as he passed out cold.

When he woke up, his mate was at his side. "I just want to see our little girl. Did Deaton like her name?"

Derek smirked at his mate. "His eyes seemed a little moist to me. Thank you for this."

Stiles looked at him in confusion. "Why are you thanking me?"

Derek smiled as he rolled the bassinet closer to Stiles. "For accepting a grumpy sourwolf into your life and giving me a wonderful family of three. It's - This is beyond anything I ever hoped for."

"Oh, well in that case, you're welcome. If you want more pups, you have to carry them, because I am never doing that again. If you even suggest it, I am knocking you out and having Alan castrate you. Understand?"

Derek could only nod as he watched his mate and daughter. He had loved his family, but he had never desired to have one that large. He was quite content with his little family of three.

~Four~

When Lauren was four-months-old, Derek _finally_ gathered the courage to do what he should have done more than a year ago. Well, before Stiles had announced his pregnancy.

Still, Derek had felt that the bond link was enough at the time. He was far more concerned with Stiles physical health. His mate hadn't said anything to indicate that he was displeased with the current situation. The sheriff however, had strongly suggested this course of action.

"Since Stiles gave you a daughter, don't you think you should make an honest man of him? I always envisioned him married _before_ he had children. Of course, I also didn't envision _him_ being the pregnant party either. Whatever. How did that song go? Put a ring on it... or something like that. Think about it, Hale."

So Derek thought about it. Stiles was the perfect mate for him. He understood and accepted werewolves. He had a spark hidden deep in his heart, he somehow pulled everyone up out of the dark (even when he was lost in his own darkness); and John was right. Derek needed to put a ring on it to complete the circle.

After a whirlwind trip to the next town to purchase a ring (that he prayed would fit Stiles finger), grabbing a bouquet of heliotrope, honeysuckle, ivy, with a red and yellow rose in the middle (he hoped Stiles would understand the meaning of the arrangement. He hadn't, but the florist explained everything), and a six-pack of beer (because, of course, his mate hated champagne and wine. Philistine.) He headed home to do this properly.

"Daddy's being sneaky. Yes, he is Lauren. What do you think he's up to?" Stiles asked their daughter when Derek shuffled in the door with his hands behind his back.

Derek rolled his eyes at Stiles words. Of course, he would suspect something. He was a cop's kid, he suspected everything. "I ran into your dad earlier."

"That does not sound promising to one of us. I wonder who is in trouble or did he just grill you about the recent rash of avian deaths? I told him sometimes, it's just Mother Nature doing her thing."

"Neither. He just brought an error to my attention."

"Shit, is he still alive? Please, tell me you didn't hurt my dad Derek."

"And get rid of Lauren's favorite babysitter? No way. Just, this isn't easy."

Stiles looked to his mate and Derek could hear his heart rate spike. "You're scaring me here Derek. What-what's wrong?"

Derek shook his head and dropped to his knees beside the young man. "Nothing is _wrong_ , I just wanted to ask if you would do me the honor of marrying me."

Stiles sat there blinking at the bouquet and ring.

"This is usually where you give an answer."

"Did my dad pressure you to propose to me?" Stiles asked warily as he stood and picked up his baby girl.

"No, he just... he made me realize that I've neglected that aspect in our lives. I don't want you to think that I would _not_ want you. So please, say you'll marry me."

"Lauren, your Daddy is a silly goose. He doesn't see that I already think of him as my husband. I even call him that to all our friends, but if a piece of paper will make Daddy happy. Well, who am I to deny him his happiness? Yes, Derek Hale, I will marry you," Stiles said with a grin as he rocked their daughter back and forth.

Derek swooped in and kissed Stiles deeply before finally ‘putting a ring on it’.

~Five~

Five months after Stiles had said yes, both men were ready to pull their hair out. Lauren was toddling and getting into everything, which they had anticipated.

What they hadn't anticipate was for the women in their lives to suddenly feel the need to be right there and into every aspect of a wedding neither man wanted.

They had both agreed that a quick courthouse shindig would be perfect for them. Neither of them could afford to take off work just yet and Lauren wasn't ready for travel. So they had no need of a reception.

"What do you think of these flowers Stiles?" Melissa asked as she shoved some lilacs under his nose. He didn't bother to answer. Especially since the damned things were making him tear up and sneeze.

"Right, maybe something with less scent."

"Mrs. McCall, I appreciate all your help, but Derek and I..."

"You're getting a wedding Stiles. Your dad deserves to see you walk down the aisle."

"I suppose you want me in white too. Never mind that I have _physically_ had a child."

"White is a traditional color."

"Actually, it isn't. It's the color of mourning in many countries. England even thought so until Queen Victoria wore white for her wedding. Twenty to one, she was in mourning over the fact that she was getting married."

"What a horrible thing to say! White is the color of purity," Melissa said with a pout.

"Again, I would like to point out my daughter. I have not been pure, in a good long while. No white... hell, no wedding," Stiles yelled as he stormed off. He needed to go and talk to his future husband.

~Six~

Six days and that was all Stiles could handle with the wedding planning. The women in his life were going to drive him fucking insane.

"We can't just load Lauren onto a plane Stiles. The pressure would upset her and not only would she be crying for the entire trip but she would wolf out and scare the other passengers," Derek said with a sigh as he bounced his whimpering daughter in his arms.

"I'm not talking Vegas, I'm talking a few counties away. Look, we have the license and it expires in two days. Do you think this bull...oney will be done by then? Be honest now."

Derek sighed and shook his head.

"That's right, which means we will have to buy our license _again_. We have a baby Derek, we can't just throw money away like that. Neither of us want the wedding of everyone else's dreams. We just want to say ‘I do’ and get a good night's sleep."

"You're right and we can text Cora about it. I'm sure she'll be happy to know we finally got married. Are you ready to face your Dad's and the girls’ wrath?"

"Dad won't care and I will ply the girls with a spa weekend," Stiles said with a grin as he watched Derek place their daughter in her crib.

"I thought we were trying to save money."

"Yeah, we are. Trust me a spa weekend for four is still cheaper than the fucking wedding Melissa and the girls are planning. I'm not wearing a white tuxedo Derek.”

Derek couldn’t help but chuckle at his fiancée. “Okay, since I’ve been neglecting you in that area; we can go to the courthouse in Tulare and tie the knot. Does that sound good to you?”

“Thank you,” Stiles whispered before kissing the love of his life most soundly.

~Seven~

The next morning they got on the road early. Earlier than even the Sheriff, which was a feat unto itself as the man had been working the morning shift.

Stiles checked the diaper bag and then double-checked while Derek made sure that they all had something nice to change into. It had taken him hours to talk Stiles into wearing something more than jeans and his favorite Avengers shirt, but Derek had done it.

Stiles didn’t know that they had an appointment with a photographer right after they got finished in the courthouse. Derek had known Beth since high school and knew she would do her best to make them happy.

Moreover, Derek thought that pictures would go a long way to soothing hurt feelings. He slipped into the driver’s seat as Stiles slipped into the back with their daughter. The further away they got from Beacon Hills; the larger Stiles’ smile became.

Seven hours later (and a few stops for diaper changes and food) they finally arrived at the courthouse. His fiancée was nearly vibrating out of his seat.

“Stiles calm down.”

“I am calm. I’m just… F-shoot, I’m happy Derek. I’m fixing to be a married man. I get to be Stiles Stilinski-Hale.”

“Don’t you mean G-“

“Finish that name and we’ll be allowed to get married in all 50 states and all countries around the world.”

Derek threw up his hands in surrender. “Come on, want to get go get hitched?”

The only words Stiles could get out for the next few hours were: “I do.”

~Eight~

Their honeymoon consisted of an overnight stay at the Ritz where they ate a meal prepared by someone else and got eight glorious and peaceful hours of sleep. Then they headed back home to face the music.

“We need to stop somewhere and get this stuff printed out,” Stiles said after a few hours on the road.

“Get what printed out?” Derek asked as he looked in the rearview mirror at his small family.

“The spa certificates that will allow us back in Beacon Hills with our balls intact. I like my balls Derek. I want to keep them. So we can stop at Oakhurst’s library, yes? Or maybe a printer,” Stiles rambled.

“I think a printer will have nicer paper; but yes, we stop and save our family jewels. Who knows when Lauren will want a sibling?”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at his husband. “Remember, you get to carry her little brother.”

Derek blinked several times before shaking his head. "Maybe we should look into adoption. I'm willing to bet there are a few wayward pups who need a home."

"Nice save there Daddy. Now, let's get everything we need and head home."

~Nine~

Nine days after they exchanged vows and the women in their lives still had not forgiven them.

Stiles let out a huff as he went to lay Lauren down for her nap. He put his finger to his lips as he made his way back downstairs, where all of the women were growling and looking put out. John had frowned, but he understood and even blessed them. Now if the harpies would just understand.

"It was our decision," Stiles said quietly.

Melissa put her hands on her hips and huffed. "We had _everything_ planned out. We were getting everything set up and all you two had to do was go and get your tuxedos fitted."

"No, _we_ had nothing planned out. You ladies did. Did you even consider our likes and dislikes? Did you actually ask us what we wanted? Derek and I have never even known what our menu or wedding cake would be like. I know you all meant well, but you came in here and took over everything. This wedding wasn't about how much Derek and I love each other. It was just to stroke your feminine egos."

Kira fidgeted a bit before replying. "Stiles, we just wanted you two to have the perfect wedding."

"Perfect for who though?"

All the women looked down in shame and finally understood what they had been doing.

"We forgive you, you know? We didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but we just... we just wanted a quiet ceremony where we could exchange a few words and be on our way."

"What about a honeymoon?"

"Maybe in a few years. We both have busy lives and can't really take off for a honeymoon, but you lovely ladies can go and have fun for us."

Lydia narrowed her eyes and cocked her head. "What are you planning Stilinski?"

"Stilinski-Hale, and I am only planning to send you lovely ladies to a spa for the weekend. Away from all the men that have been driving you crazy. What do you say?" Stiles asked as he held out four richly decorated envelopes.

"Forgiven," Melissa said as she snatched up the envelope.

Each of the women forgave and grabbed their respective envelope. Stiles couldn't help but to smile as he heard them all squeal like school girls in the corridor.

He headed back up the stairs to Lauren and the rest of his life. He hoped that it would only get better from here on in.

~Fin~


End file.
